Lately I've been thinking that perhaps there is something missing. I mean, after all, what is life if you don't have someone to share it with. Getting your pants changed with no one to share that experience with just leaves you wanting something more. I want someone who understands me and cares for me. Someone I can snuggle with. Yes, the Satisfiers are always there but somehow that is different. They seem to be placed in my life not of my own choice but rather forced upon me and my world by something or someone beyond my control. I want someone that wants me for who I am. For the inner beauty that I possess. Someone who can bring out the child within me. Someone I can grow old with and share my toys with. Someone who will drool with me and make bizarre sounds with me. Someone who truly understands me and accepts me for who I am.
As I was contemplating these things, out of the blue, something amazing happened. When Satisfier 1 took me to the place where all the other ugly little beings seem to hang out I spotted two that caught my eye. I thought to myself, "self, perhaps these are what you are looking for." I tried to make eye contact but they didn't seem to have any head control. I tried to make my cutest noises but they either couldn't hear me over the din of the other little beings crying and making noises or they were pretending not to hear me. It was a dilema. If I knew how to be mobile on my own I would have gone over to the long, comfortable looking cushiony thing that they were sitting on. But alas, I was unable. then a devious plan hatched in my brain. I would manipulate Satisfier 1 to take me over to the cushiony thing and set me right in the middle of the two little beings that had caught my eye. We would then commence to sharing our life stories with each other - with me doing most of the sharing as I was quite obviously many times their age.
If only Satisfier 1 didn't have such a primitive language I would just say, "take me to the little beings on the cushiony thing and set me in between them." Satisfier 1 would have no idea what I was up to but would be forced to comply due to my irresistible charm. If I just sounded my yawp then Satisfier 1 would get confused and think that I had a delivery to clean up or that I was hungry. No, this was something that would require all my talent and energy and a new way of thinking to get my will accomplished. I needed a new "will paradigm."
While I was thinking and scheming, Satisfier 1 picked me up and took me over to the cushiony thing. My intelligence combined with my macro-cosmic view of the world and its interactions enabled me to communicate my will to Satisfier 1 who, by an irresistible tour-de-force, became a pawn in my dastardly plan. Satisfier 1 then placed me between the two little beings on the cushiony thing and there we sat. We sat, and sat, and sat. We were like three soft, round green thingys in a long green, hollow thingy. And then, to my great displeasure and horror I discovered that I had nothing to communicate to these little beings. Sure, we were connected by leaning against each other but I could not understand them at all. Maybe because I was so much older and smarter or I was existing on another plane - I'm not sure. At any rate, I still haven't found what I'm looking for. I will continue to seek that someone whom I can spend the rest of my life with. Until then, car pe diem.
Jonathan and His Little Being Girlfriends
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