JEO in SFO

I just took a trip with my providers to San Francisco. It was a place full of new sights, smells, experiences, and wonders. Most of which I don’t have the vocabulary to effectively describe so I am going to let the provider I call “Da da da da…” write it down from my dictation in this post.

The very long trip from our home in Medford, OR to San Francisco by car took many days to finish [it was only a 6 hour journey – editor]. I was strapped into my chair the whole way which kept me from climbing over everything. I don’t like that. In the restriction of mobility I vote a hearty “nay” to.

It seemed we spent quite a bit of time in a room, perhaps 2 or 3 weeks, after the driving in the car was finished [JEO only spent 2 days in and around Pleasant Hill before getting on the BART that he is describing next - editor]. One day, however, the provider that wants me to call her “Ma ma” but that I call “da da” in spite, took me in the car seat to a place where we got into some sort of room that had lots of other people in it. It went really fast. I made lots of friends with people I have never seen before.

We eventually left the room and ended up in a place where there were lots and lots of people. All of them seemed to be moving very fast and talking to themselves. Some seemed to have devices attached to the sides of their faces. Others had growths on their ears that glowed when they were talking. I tried smiling at all of them but there were just too many of them. Most didn’t seem to notice me anyway. They mostly looked straight ahead with empty eyes. I don’t know how they kept from running into each other as they didn’t seem to be able to see what was right in front of them.

There were some that noticed me. Most of them had hair on their faces, or just a few teeth like me, or perhaps had a funny smell, like I sometimes do when I need new pants. Sometimes it was a combination of those three. Most of these Ma ma seemed a little afraid to talk to. And she would speed up my chariot to get by them. I think I made a lot of friends with them anyway. One of the things that I really liked was riding one of the moving rooms that seemed to go straight up and down the huge mountains. I was so happy that I made friends with everyone in the room [that would be the SF cable car – editor]. They all thought I was great – which I am. I was so happy that I did my Happy Dance – the one where I violently throw my head back and forth and bounce up and down. Unfortunately I tossed my head into Ma ma’s head which I didn’t like so I had to let everyone know. But I was happy so I didn’t scream too long before I did the Happy Dance again whereupon I again banged my head. I alternately did the scream/Happy Dance for the remainder of the time that we were in the mountain climbing/falling moving room.

One time when I was with both providers we were walking for a very long time and we started seeing lots of the people with beards, funny smells, and no teeth which, lacking any other vocabulary, I will call Flufflesmellins. Some of them would come up to me and say things. They seemed to be nice but they looked a little crazy. Some with really big eyes that looked like they would never blink. Sometimes they would be yelling to themselves but without the devices attached to the sides of their faces or the glowing growths on their ears. I will similarly call these Yellfullmellins. They seemed to be very angry. My providers made the effort to put a lot of space between us and the Yellfullmellins. I think I could have made friends with them but I guess we’ll never know for sure.

One time we saw a Flufflesmellin making a little yellow river on the sidewalk. I would have offered him one of my special pants but I can’t speak and I don’t think it would have fit. Another time we were on a noisy moving room [a trolley – editor] and one of the Yellfullmellins got on and started yelling at the man who made the noisy room go. The noisy room driver said a few things in a strong voice to which the Yellfullmellin said a lot of loud, angry words and then jumped out of the room.

There were lots of interesting sounds, people, and smells in San Francisco but it got very boring for me to have to be in my chariot most of the time. I got a little cranky a couple of times. I’ve found it is most effective to get cranky in places where there are lots of people. The providers then seem to be very focused on making things better for you. We took one of the fast moving rooms [the BART – editor] back to the room where we were staying. On the way home I did my Jekyll and Hyde impersonation with the Happy Dance thrown in for effect. A strange man decided that it was his responsibility to try to make me happy so he made lots of funny, ridiculous faces. To humor him I smiled back and laughed. This seemed to make him want to make even stranger funny faces and play peek-a-boo. Fortunately he got off the moving room at the next stop. After he left a man came up to the providers and said some things and handed Da da da da a card.

From what I can gather from my providers, and this makes no sense to me – I only relate it to you here as it seemed to be quite important, the man making the faces was deranged and had a long history of derangement. The man who came up to my providers and gave them the card thingy was the Deputy District Attorney for the State of California and was well acquainted with deranged man’s activities. I don’t know what all that means – they were both just people to me.

Well that was my trip. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them on this blog. When I’m not playing, napping, or eating, I’ll try to make time for you, my adoring fans.

JEO